1246 days
of sobriety
3 years
4 months
4 weeks
alcohol-free
The drunk version of me
Erased by memory
The crazy days
The erotic encounters
All seem so blurred
Lost in history
Buried deep in the dirt
Along with my lonely tears
The hearts I’ve broken
Friends who fled away
The relationships that faded
The sins I committed
People I lost faith in
All buried deep in the dirt
Bottles after bottles of alcohol
Demeanor of self-deception
Trusting that alcohol was alleviation
And yet left alone
with empty bottles
Empty as I was
Piled up like my troubles
Taking up all the spaces
Mocking my last sanity
Whiskey tasted like self-love
The next morning it reeked agony from my inside
the smell lingered
for 3 years
4 months
4 weeks
the mistakes I’ve made
all buried deep in the dirt
yet always there as a reminder
1246 days
alcohol-free
sobriety enables me to see
all the misery
clear and fair
what I suffer
How I suffer
the pain is greater when I am sober
I live through the sadness I try so hard to ignore
the past never truly disappeared
always there as a mockery
reminding me of all the failures
the worst version of me I have ever been
choosing recovery
but trapped in memory lane
the illusion of how whiskey can cure
seems so tempting
my mental disease
all relied on it
1246 days
alcohol-free
every today
is followed by a struggling yesterday
every hopeful tomorrow
is constructed by a skeptical today
3 years
4 months
4 weeks
of recovery
recovery glows flowers
adorning the grave I dug for myself
white and yellow flowers
on the dirt I buried my history
white as I my heart is now pure
yellow as the sun spreads hope
Butterfly Poetry 