1246 days

of sobriety


3 years

4 months

4 weeks



The drunk version of me

Erased by memory

The crazy days

The erotic encounters

All seem so blurred

Lost in history


Buried deep in the dirt

Along with my lonely tears

The hearts I’ve broken

Friends who fled away

The relationships that faded

The sins I committed

People I lost faith in

All buried deep in the dirt


Bottles after bottles of alcohol

Demeanor of self-deception

Trusting that alcohol was alleviation

And yet left alone

with empty bottles

Empty as I was

Piled up like my troubles

Taking up all the spaces

Mocking my last sanity


Whiskey tasted like self-love

The next morning it reeked agony from my inside

the smell lingered

for 3 years

4 months

4 weeks

the mistakes I’ve made

all buried deep in the dirt

yet always there as a reminder


1246 days


sobriety enables me to see

all the misery

clear and fair

what I suffer

How I suffer

the pain is greater when I am sober

I live through the sadness I try so hard to ignore


the past never truly disappeared

always there as a mockery

reminding me of all the failures

the worst version of me I have ever been


choosing recovery

but trapped in memory lane

the illusion of how whiskey can cure

seems so tempting

my mental disease

all relied on it


1246 days


every today

is followed by a struggling yesterday

every hopeful tomorrow

is constructed by a skeptical today


3 years

4 months

4 weeks

of recovery


recovery glows flowers

adorning the grave I dug for myself

white and yellow flowers

on the dirt I buried my history

white as I my heart is now pure

yellow as the sun spreads hope



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