Letter to Self: I Know

Hey, there

Don’t dwell on your sadness

I know it’s not easy

The sadness is always there

It is your personal bully

I know it’s confusing

about the nature of it

or the cause of this endless torture

 

I know you are sad

even when you are not

I know you are smiling

when you are bleeding inside

quietly

 

I know you believe

you don’t deserve to be happy

so much

that you reject all the possibilities

 

I know you are scared

of all the uncertainties

That’s why you try so hard

to find meaning in all things

That’s why you want answers

To your bewilderedness

about everything in this society

Or maybe just an answer to

that little monster that lives inside you

 

I know you don’t want to be

a zombie again

I know there’s no more time to waste

in your life

 

I know you are still searching

for a place you can call home

a home that’s yours to own

and yours only

 

I know you are trying so hard

to survive

I know you are forcing yourself

to be strong

Because you are convinced

that’s the only choice left

I know you don’t want to be vulnerable

I know you don’t want to feel the hurt again

 

I know that I love you

Even when I don’t

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