You talk about it
Like it’s something casual
There’s nothing casual about it
Depression is not casual
It is not just being troubled
It is not a cold
Which you can recover from in days
Depression is an assassin
Depression is the shadow that follows behind
Depression is the dark hole that consumes
Depression is me
Depression is the twisted state of mind
It is knowing that there’s something not right
But don’t know what it is
Don’t know how to fix it
Utterly clueless
It is being completely blind
Searching in darkness
Everything I touch makes me bleed
It is drowning in my own tears
Until I lose the ability to cry
To feel sadness
Or anything at all
Until numbness
is the only thing remains
Depression is the defense mechanism
A bubble that claims to keep me safe
As long as I stay in it
And believe in the projections it shows
Depression is something I keep in my pocket
Always with me
Wherever I am
Whomever I’m with
It tells me how to act
And not to take it out
So others won’t acknowledge
It is a tenant that checks in
Out of the blue
And my body is the landlord
It brings its friends over
Anxiety
Panic attacks
They party all night
Playing horror movies
I toss and turn
Can’t fall asleep for nights
Depression stays in my body
It is trying to take over
It gives me a mask
Ask me to wear it
So no one can see
While every cell in me
Is turning into depression
It is the bad neighbor
Drilling the walls
Filling my room with lousy noises
And yet filing complaints against me
Depression is not casual
Depression is the paralyzing negativity
It is transparent yet so powerful
It keeps me in bed
Everyone away
Depression makes sure that I am alone
So it can fulfil its duty
The task of an assassin
Depression is choosing recovery
over and over again
failing and succeeding and failing again
it is a loophole in time
repeating everything every time
it is hiding the beauty in life
says the blue sky is grey
or the loving friends don’t care
or universe has abandoned me
or I belong to the wrong galaxy
Depression
Is the devil with a thousand tricks
It is the opposite of life
It is not having a voice
Or a choice
Depression is many things
It is definitely not
Not casual
Like how you talk about it
Butterfly Poetry 