A W.A.R.M. Poem


When you feel cold inside

Lonely and blinded

Lost in this tunnel without any light

We will share our warmth with you

Let you know we are all the same

On this stage we call life


Suffering too

But we will hold your hands

And we will march together

In this tunnel without any light


I promise you

One day you will see

The meaning behind our destiny

One day,

it will all makes sense to you

one day,

you will feel the warmth surrounding you

like it always has been



Our pain is anonymous

Our struggle is anonymous

Our names are anonymous

Our existence is anonymous


But that is only for today

One day,

Our pain will transform in to the starry night

of Van gogh’s beauty

our colors

will be so vivid that it ignites fire in the heart of others


one day,

our struggle will be no more

our past will be known

it will no longer be anonymous

it’s name will be bravery


one day,

our names will be told

for we are the ones that stand straight

when our worlds are crumbling


for we are the ones that love

as many people as we can

along the way


for we

are the ones

that never stop reaching out


one day,

our existence will shine as the light

at the end of other people’s tunnels

our existence will leave traces of footsteps

for the lost ones to follow

and one day,

they will find their paths too



Side by side, we are not alone

No matter what it was like before

It will be like that no more


Picking up the pieces of yesterday

Together we complete

the most complicated puzzles in the world

broken pieces glued back together

joint effort

we find our lost selves

rediscovering dignity that we thought disappeared

reinforcing the strength that was hidden deep inside


together, we see our destiny

together, we conquer

together, we support each other

together, we build our own stories

together, we are no longer alone



we see your true mentality

not the mask you wear

painted by society


with us, you can take your mask off safely

with us, we are connected mentally

with us, we will support you unconditionally

with us, you can be the you

that you have always meant to be


women anonymous reconnecting mentally,


We are free from society’s norms

We do not need to conform anymore

We are creating our own identity

We are reclaiming control

We are the differences

we want to see

in the world








Am I Taking Back Control

Am I taking back control

by doing this

I ponder as I sit

with a bottle of sleeping pills before me

I stare at it

As I ponder if I am taking back control

By doing this


According to Buddhism

I chose to be reborn

If that is the truth to be told

I regret it

I regret being born

Growing up in this world

I regret it

I regret choosing to come back

to this


I am drained

No energy left

Did I consent to being born

Did I agree to this world


I was sent into a cosmic

Which is a bad mistake

Sometimes I think

I am the bad mistake



What is a mistake

Choosing life or ending it

Taking back control

because I didn’t agree to it


I ponder as I sit

with a bottle of sleeping pills before me





Lost Meaning

When we do something over and over again

It loses its meaning


We say I love you to each other

Over and over again

And it loses its meaning


We kiss over and over again

And it loses its meaning


We talk about our days

Over and over again

And it loses its meaning


I breathe and breathe again

Until it loses its meaning


I am drowning in this ocean of lost meaning

Soaking in despondency

But you are on a safe boat

Not rocky nor defeated


I am drowning in this ocean of lost meaning

You reached out your hand

Attempting to pull me back

I see your eyes, shining

Like how you’ve always looked at me

Full of hope and affection

I’m afraid I can’t live up to your expectation


You reached out your hand

With that smile on your face

The smile a bit brisky

A bit naughty


You’ve gazed at me with those eyes and smiles

Since the beginning of our stories

The voices in my head is in repetition

About how one day

I’ll look at you like that

But by then you will look at me

like how I’m looking at you now


You ask what can be done

To get me back on the boat

And I say no to every suggestion

I guess because of self-loathing


I think I need to drown

After all, I have fought and lost

Perhaps in the water is where I belong

This ocean of lost meaning




The Mask

we all wear it

the mask

a smile or a dance

laughter or music


scars hidden

we don’t talk about it


for a conversation

it’s not always the best topic


loved ones in the past

whom we sealed in a bottle

because they hurt us

and we haven’t let go

or we let them fall

and they left for another land

or they hurt themselves

and we could have done something about it


we don’t talk about it

the things that pained us

the sadness we thought we buried

that comes out when we don’t notice

the mistakes we have made

the loneliness we feel in bed


the nights we toss and turn

because the mask has fallen

the wounds are not transparent

not disguising its existence


we don’t talk about it

but we all wear it

the mask

it seems like a taboo

to talk about you

or me

or him

or her

or being lost again


we have been taught

what’s positive or negative

what’s strong and what’s weak

to snap out of it

so we wear a mask

so the things we are afraid of

won’t be brought up

so we won’t be blamed again


we wear a colorful mask

when we are hollow all day

suffering in our own way

but we don’t talk about it

afraid to be judged

afraid to cause harm

afraid to be exposed


just afraid

the mask covers so we don’t have to face


we all wear the mask

pretending to be okay

at a dinner party

friends’ gathering

important jobs

or maybe in a pub

characters we play

on this stage we call life


we should start talking about it

we should stop the judging and start understanding

start loving

start forgiving, you and me

we should leave people better than we found them

not let them fade

behind the mask


we should start talking about it

we should be okay with not being okay

with every hey are you okay

it should be a question full of love and respect

not a social gesture that’s a bit awkward


we should make others comfortable

feel safe

feel less alone

because in the end we are all the same

we are together in this place called life

and we should stop wearing the mask

by being the one that starts loving









Depression Is

You talk about it

Like it’s something casual

There’s nothing casual about it


Depression is not casual

It is not just being troubled

It is not a cold

Which you can recover from in days


Depression is an assassin

Depression is the shadow that follows behind

Depression is the dark hole that consumes

Depression is me


Depression is the twisted state of mind

It is knowing that there’s something not right

But don’t know what it is

Don’t know how to fix it

Utterly clueless


It is being completely blind

Searching in darkness

Everything I touch makes me bleed


It is drowning in my own tears

Until I lose the ability to cry

To feel sadness

Or anything at all

Until numbness

is the only thing remains


Depression is the defense mechanism

A bubble that claims to keep me safe

As long as I stay in it

And believe in the projections it shows


Depression is something I keep in my pocket

Always with me

Wherever I am

Whomever I’m with

It tells me how to act

And not to take it out

So others won’t acknowledge


It is a tenant that checks in

Out of the blue

And my body is the landlord

It brings its friends over


Panic attacks

They party all night

Playing horror movies

I toss and turn

Can’t fall asleep for nights


Depression stays in my body

It is trying to take over

It gives me a mask

Ask me to wear it

So no one can see

While every cell in me

Is turning into depression


It is the bad neighbor

Drilling the walls

Filling my room with lousy noises

And yet filing complaints against me


Depression is not casual

Depression is the paralyzing negativity

It is transparent yet so powerful

It keeps me in bed

Everyone away


Depression makes sure that I am alone

So it can fulfil its duty

The task of an assassin


Depression is choosing recovery

over and over again

failing and succeeding and failing again

it is a loophole in time

repeating everything every time


it is hiding the beauty in life

says the blue sky is grey

or the loving friends don’t care

or universe has abandoned me

or I belong to the wrong galaxy



Is the devil with a thousand tricks

It is the opposite of life

It is not having a voice

Or a choice


Depression is many things

It is definitely not

Not casual

Like how you talk about it


There’s too many people

In the living room 

Making small talks

Covering the basics

What they do 

Where they’re from 

The weather’s looking rather good

Jokes about whatever it is 


I wonder if we can skip

These small talks

Meaningless small talks 

Killing time

Disguising awkwardness 


I wonder why we do this 

Meaningless small talks 

Covering the basics

Repeating it

To everyone newly met 

Disguising awkwardness 

Killing time until the party ends


We go home with nothing but jokes and names

of someone we still barely know


Is what small talks make people into 


Not friends 

Just someone you met at the party 


I wonder why we do it

Gather together 

Using small talks to fill in the gaps 

Meaningless and dull

Just because we have to


It makes me uncomfortable 

Is this what we’re doing with our time 

It stresses me out

We could have been doing something else

Anything but this 


Is it just me 

Or does small talks really cheer people up

Bring them together 

Like their laughters are genuine 

Because I know mine’s not


Sitting there wondering 

Is this why we’re all here for

Talking about food 


Nodding but not listening

There’s too many people here

People I’ve never met

And maybe never will again 


I’ll forget about their names

Their Interests 

Or what they look like 

After a few days

So why are we doing this 


Hanging out

Talking about everything but nothing 

Trying to be part of something 


More people are coming in

And it makes me feel queasy

The room is not big enough 

And the noises are too loud

People trying not to miss out


I guess anyone could do without this party

After all it’s just for fitting in

With a bunch of new strangers we will soon call friends


But really, we still don’t know much about them

Or will forget about them soon enough 

So why are we doing this

Something that will lose its meaning tomorrow 


Talking about everything but nothing 

Laughing to jokes awkwardly 

But don’t really understand why it’s funny 

Is this what we really are

Consists of small talks

Everything but nothing