Everything is good
I’m having my period
and my abdomen feels like something died inside it
but that’s okay
I have a roof above me
I have food in the fridge
so I’m grateful
everything is okay today
I have nothing to complain
existential anxiety
has been crawling inside me
for the past few weeks
family
school
boyfriend
school
state of mind
money
school
boyfriend
state of mind
money
depression
depression
depression
freaking depression
sleeping was a problem
it still is
I would wake up in panic attacks
gasping
shaking
reaching my hands out
searching for something to hold onto
and ended up with air and tears
but all that seem okay today
at least at this moment
when I’m writing this down
it seems okay now
everything seems okay now
I’m at this moment
like a suspense in time
I see yesterday
I hear tomorrow
but I don’t have to touch either
everything has stopped
the worries frozen
so everything seems okay now
no crisis to deal with
no one to socialize with
no obligations to oblige to
no one for me to worry about
no one to fake a smile to
no deadline to be alive and striving for
that’s it
this moment is it
when everything stops
boyfriend away
family and friends nowhere near me
just me
and me alone
frozen in time
so everything is good now
today
this moment
it all seems okay
quiet
everything is quiet
my mind and surroundings
all tranquil and resting
even my phone
just sits there
not ringing at all
I’m not waiting for any messages
or notifications from social media
everything is quiet and everyone far away
so it all seems good now
I get to just be with me
and I’m writing this down
not because I have another episode
of sadness to unleash
or anger and anguish
that never escaped me
I’m writing this down
this is new
about how everything seems okay now
when time is frozen
I am in the middle of yesterday’s tears
and tomorrow’s worries
and I’m writing this down
about how everything seems okay now
no baggages to carry
nowhere to hurry to
no one to hold my hands
nothing is happening
and that makes everything okay
I have 2 hours more of this
these sacred 2 hours more
for me to cherish
before time starts spinning
and everything speeds up
and today
sealed and bottled up
like a sweet sweet dream
untraceable
unreachable
and slowly forgotten
until next time
until god knows when next time
Butterfly Poetry 