When I first met the dark shadow
I was sixteen years old
They sat on my pillow and whispered to my ears
Noises that sounded like words
I took a look at its black and blue
And noticed how it was slightly penetrating me
The voices became louder
Existence is futile
I was told
You are a burden
I was told
That was the first time I met the dark shadow
The faces of black and blue
As I listened to its noises that sounded like words
It took away a piece of my soul
I was eighteen years old
The black and blue were no longer gentle
They dwelled inside me and fed on pleasure
Exhale cruelly nothing but woe and sadness
I could feel the fragmental pieces of my soul
Started to vanish
Little by little
I was nineteen years old
I could not envision a world
Where there are no dark shadows
I could see myself fading away
Colors coming off of my body
Disappearing into the winds
I was a funeral in process
Drowning in black and blue
Gasping for air
I was twenty years old
I had forgotten how to smile
There is nothing left in me
Resistance is exhausting
I thought
Therefore, one night
Black and blue guided me to the kitchen knife
Taught me how to use it
Guaranteed that this was the only remedy to my agony
I heard they say
You died many years ago, anyway
You are a burden, anyway
A waste of space
A mistake
A flawed creature
Come on
Just do it
And end this inane existence
I am twenty one now
Black and blue are still inside of me
The mark I made on my left arm
Still itches somehow
It is the screeching sound made by black and blue
The traces of their mockery
But I
I am still here somehow
I am still here
I am twenty one now
I am learning how to breathe
Black and blue still talk to me
But I have learnt how not to listen
I am not
a burden or an apology
I am a flawed creature
But that does not make me any less of a human
I am a warrior
I am a survivor
Black and blue are still inside of me
But I am not just black and blue this time
I am also love, compassion and kindness
I am the mixture of everything
Everything that I have ever seen or heard
I am not
Not just black and blue this time
Butterfly Poetry 