In this Ocean
I am a carved wooden boat
with the ever-changing wind I float
I guess we are all lost in some degree
Eyes blinded and cannot see
In this Ocean
I am a carved wooden boat
I turn my head around
Struggle to float against the force
my body stiffen
eyes wide open
with all the strength
the unassailable flow of nature I defy
Just to gaze again
at the breathtaking scenery
which I once sang and danced to
In this Ocean
I am a carved wooden boat
always almost immersed by water
but would never let myself be smothered
because of the moon upon me
that I have made a promise to
I will always be empty
The carpenter who made me
have not seen me in the ocean
The sailor who once paddled me
Left after the fourth sunset we watched
And I will always be searching
for a shore that I can call home
but will always end up with the cold embrace of the waves
I let the storm fill me with the rain
convincing myself that rain
can do what glue does
Rain will piece me back like a puzzle
Rain will appease the tempest in me
When the stars come out and the rain stop
I realize that the rain drops
were the reason why
there was a tempest in me at the first place
but I still miss how the rain showered me
and how comforting it was to not be empty
I blame the clouds for taking my heart away
It would be the twentieth sunset
that I realize
rain belongs to somewhere else
a garden or a river, perhaps
I will always be saying goodbye
to the carpenter who made me
to the sailor who once
taught me everything about the ocean
to the waves that pushed me forward
to the sunrise and sunset
to the cruises that sometimes pass by
and with every goodbye I say
there is a crack somewhere on my body.
Someone somewhere
Once told me a story about how there is a lighthouse
in the end of this ocean
I do not believe it
I have been floating alone
for too long
and the idea of a lighthouse
sounds only like a story
I have counted the sunset too many times
That I stop waiting for it
I start to enjoy the darkness
that follows the sunset
I rejoice in how lost I am
I wonder if I am also like the lighthouse
Just a story someone carelessly mentions
I ask yet again the moon
for some sort of wisdom
the ocean water has never been warmer or brighter
I don’t remember ever reaching out for this softness
It seems like the ocean water has been holding me up
from the very beginning
I just never really looked at them this way
Then I remember the story someone once told me
About how there is a lighthouse
In the end of this ocean
It became my only dream
I imagine
This sublime white tower
this building that looks as jaded as I will have become
emitting light into the impalpable
somehow
It would let me close my eyes
And drown
I would hear the sound of nothingness
in the bottom of this ocean
When I open my eyes
I will feel the touch of the lighthouse
As loving and gentle
like the first time I sailed
I would find myself
a part of the tower now
Emitting lights into the depths of the darkness
Butterfly Poetry 